can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
