I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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