we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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