My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
