I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
