we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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