I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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