If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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