I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She made me pour olive oil on her.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
