bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
