No stitches, just platelets and will power
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
