I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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