Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize