So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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