Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
