hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
