i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
