I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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