Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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