Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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