Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
