Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
