When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize