she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bring me that man meat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize