those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
