i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
