you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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