Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
