Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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