im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
