Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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