dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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