Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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