what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
