Dual....:-)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
