I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
