i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
