Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
