i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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