She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
