she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
