gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
