at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
This house was built for laser tag.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize