I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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