So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
