I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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