Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
