There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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