Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
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I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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