Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
