I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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