I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You're like the curious george of whores
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
