I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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