Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
