Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
