I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need water and some morals
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize