Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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