I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
