ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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