just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
