I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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