I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
no, he came in my armpit
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
