Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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