: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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