hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
my being single is dangerous.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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