I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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